BITTERSWEET.

how can you miss a time when you didn't sleep, you didn't eat, you were unwell, looked like shit and were plain dirty.
a time when people went crazy, when your belongings were stolen, when everybody became fiends.
a time where you worried about what would happen if you ran out.
i got fired from my job, i spent lots and lost more.
i had to lock my bedroom door with an industrial size padlock.
eviction threats, endless breakings.
stains on the carpet, bed and walls.
straining friendships.
straining shoreditch.

BUT MY GOD DID I HAVE FUN.

i just spoke to jana. we reminisced those horrible days.
dancing and singing to the most amazing new music we could find.
getting to know every little single part of a person, staying up for days just talking. not moving. talking and drawing. laughing so much.  the joiners was amazing, after parties were great. messy, but great.
new places to go, people to see.

i miss it so much, but i know it had to end.
i can't imagine myself doing it again, as much as i'd like to.
the memory of the good/bad bittersweet time will always live on in my heart.