BLANK CANVAS.

so i fucked up again.

almost to the day a year after the last fuck up.

i'm back in cornwall, again.

i've given up on the ideal life in london, it's not a good place for me. i was stuck there, squashed like gum under a shoe. i thought i could carry on behaving as i have done for the past eight months, all fun and frolics and parties and friends. but very quickly that turned into everything i didn't want. i became unhappy. and being surrounded by disco friends made everything worse. i tried running away from them, from all of it. hiding away and not saying a word. but that just pushed the closest people to me, away. the people i needed the most i was fucking over. and i hate myself. i've had this feeling in my stomach for a long time, and it's like when you're hungry. but i'm not hungry. i feel anxious and full to the brim with guilt. along with a million more regrets. 

time to take action.

(in chronological order:)

move home, live for free, eat for free.

work. earn money. pay my debts.

draw. get creative.

visit london, visit the real people, that count.

save, save, save. fly to new york, catch a bus along the states, look at canyons and get my shit inspired.

be high on life.

GROW UP.

have interesting stories to tell.

draw more.

work. save.

move to..

move to..

move to london?

move back to london? or carry on, on a whim. 

see where i'm taken.